100 Things Norway Is Not Allowed To Do
by jimmynovakuumcleaner
Summary: Exactly what it says in the title! Contains a bit of DenNor.


_**100 Things Norway Is Not Allowed To Do**_

_I love this style of fic~! So I decided to do one myself, as Norway~_

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><p>1) I'm not allowed to make fun of England's magical creatures.<p>

2) -Even though mine are better.

3) I'm not allowed to slap Denmark for no reason.

4) -Or punch him. Or kick him.

5) -No matter how much he irritates me.

6) I shouldn't tell Denmark that I love him.

7) -I can, just not too often.

8) -Because he gets a big head if I say things like that to him.

9) I'm not allowed to slap anyone who says that I'm going out with England.

10) Just because I give him a Christmas tree every year.

11) -And the reason I do that is because he helped me during WWII.

12) I'm not allowed to murder Tonje Langteig.

13) -Even though she makes my people ashamed to be Norwegian.

14) I can't ask anyone else to murder Tonje Langteig, either.

15) Because murdering people is wrong, no matter who does it.

16) -Or who the victim is.

17) I DON'T WANNA BE A CRAPPY HOUSEWIFE.

18) I can't let Denmark tell people what we do in our spare time.

19) -I'd never be able to live it down.

20) -And as he said, "No one needs that kind of mental scarring."

21) I'm not allowed to let Denmark get drunk.

22) -Even though he's quite entertaining when he's drunk.

23) And he sings random love songs to me when he's drunk. He's a surprisingly good singer.

24) -And though I secretly think it's cute when he crawls into my bed when he's drunk, thinking it's his.

25) -...You know what? Forget this one.

26) I'm not allowed to let Denmark teach Sealand about anything inappropriate.

27) -Or I'll face the Swedish Wrath.

28) -And from what I saw at Christmas, Finnish Wrath is also something to be feared.

29) -Maybe even more than Swedish Wrath.

30) -That Christmas was all a dream...

31) I'm not allowed to threaten people by sending my trolls to scare them.

32) -Apparently, I caused Romano to faint. He was out for a month.

33) -Which is bad. I only wanted to scare him a bit.

34) I'm not allowed to steal Hungary's camera.

35) -Or break it.

36) -Even though she was spying on me and Denmark from a tree when we were in his bedroom.

37) -It makes no difference anyway. She'll just get another camera from Japan.

38) I'm not allowed to slap anyone who touches my curl.

39) -No matter how much I want to.

40) I'm not allowed to strangle Denmark with his tie.

41) -No matter what stupid things he comes out with.

42) -I'll just have to settle for glaring at him.

43) -Which also works. Just not as well.

44) I'm not allowed to scare Iceland.

45) -It's probably going to make him want to call me 'brother dearest' even less.

46) I'm not allowed to threaten to go Viking on people if they annoy me either.

47) -That's the kind of thing Denmark would do.

48) -And I'm not Denmark.

49) I'm not allowed to tell anyone that me and Denmark were once married.

50) -ESPECIALLY not Hungary.

51) -She'd have a field day...

52) -Japan would be bad too, since he's good friends with Hungary.

53) -Like I said, I CAN'T TELL ANYBODY.

54) I can't let Denmark tell anyone we were married once either.

55) -I don't particularly want to be the star of Hungary's latest yaoi doujin...

56) -Or Japan's.

57) -Or anyone else's, for that matter.

58) I'm DEFINITELY not allowed to tell anyone that all five of us Nordics were married to each other at the same time.

59) -I'm not mopping up Hungary and Japan's blood after they have a nosebleed.

60) I'm not allowed the bring up that we were all married to each other at the same time, either.

61) -It's depressing for all of us...

62) -And it's makes Denmark cry a bit because he treat us so badly back then.

63) I'm not allowed to say that it makes Denmark cry.

64) -He might get irritated.

65) -And irritated Denmark is A Bad Thing.

66) I'm not allowed to accuse Denmark of cheating on me with Sweden just because of the Oresund bridge.

67) -It has nothing to do with their relationship...

68) -I'm not jealous. Really.

69) I _am_ allowed to slap Denmark for making fun of this number.

70) -But if I slap him any more than that, he'll get depressed again.

71) -Although, he's quite cute when he's depressed...

72) -I DID NOT JUST SAY THAT.

73)-...But it's true...

74) -I'm such a sadist.

75) I'm not allowed to kill any more of England's people.

76) -I don't think he likes it.

77) -But he killed my king!

78) Also, I can't invade England any more.

79) -Or Ireland.

80) -I don't think they're bothered by it now, but it's best not to try.

81) -That's more of a rule for Denmark...

82) Raping and pillaging isn't a good way to pass the time.

83) -That was ages ago though...

84) -I'd like to think I've grown up a bit since then.

85) -And so has Sweden, thankfully.

86) -I'm not too sure about Denmark though.

87) I'm not allowed to glare at Latvia.

88) -He died for a few minutes last world meeting.

89) -Which is weird, because I didn't think it was a glare. It was my normal expression...

90) -Although it was amusing hearing Estonia shouting, "!"

91) I'm not allowed to let Sweden stalk me in the kitchen.

92) -It's kind of creepy...

93) -And why is he doing that anyway? I'm not single...

94) I'm not allowed to leave Denmark alone with pointy objects for more than a minute.

95) -Or flammable objects.

96) -Because chances are, I won't have a home to go back to...

97) I'm not allowed to let my troll near England's fairies and unicorns.

98) -Last time I did that, he tried to eat them. England looked a bit annoyed

100) If I break any of these rules, Denmark will hug me as much as he wants to for a year...

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><p><em>If I've confused anyone:<em>

**_9-11: Because we helped the Norwegians out during WW2, they give us a great big Christmas tree every year! It goes in Trafalgar Square~_**

**_12-17: You thought Rebecca Black was bad? You haven't seen nothing yet! Look her up. She's so bad..._**

**_28-30: When Sweden was defeated at The Christmas Bloodbath 2010, Finland snapped and suddenly became awesome!_**

**_49-57: It's true! They were married! I don't know that much about it, but there was a union between Denmark and Norway~_**

**_58-62: I'm talking about the Kalmar Union here! The Kalmar union was Denmark, Sweden (along with Finland) and Norway (along with Iceland). I don't know much more about it, so you're better off looking it up! There are some good stories about it on here actually~_**

**_66-69: The Oresund bridge is the bridge connecting Denmark and Sweden. _**

**_76-78: Yay, I actually know a decent amount about this! I'm referring to the Vikings here. Harald Hadrada was a king of Norway during the Viking times. He was killed by Harold Godwinson, the king of England at that time's army at the Battle of Stamford Bridge. He probably wouldn't have lost if his men didn't drink so much the night before... They thought we'd be easy to beat!_**

**_92-94: There's a Norwegian film called Kitchen Stories, in which some Swedish scientists decide they want to research the habits of single Norwegian men. Or something like that. I haven't actually seen it. But can you imagine Sweden stalking Norway with a pen and clipboard~?_**

_These were hard to think of! I had to have my mum and best friend help me with the last few... And is it obvious that DenNor is tied as my favourite pairing~? My other favourite pairing is Spamano!_


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